At this stage in life, I am really beginning to understand the phrase “Sometimes you will never know or understand the reasons why”. To start off on the lighter side of things, I will never understand why you are now supposed to only space one time after a period. How were those of us who went through school a long time ago supposed to know that. I didn’t get the memo and it still looks weird to me. I went through an editorial training at work the other day and there are so many grammar changes that I had no clue about. Who makes up these rules? Anyway, on to the more serious side…
I went through some things in life that made me extremely angry. I went through things that stripped me financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I thought that the magical mystical God that I’ve learned about all of my life would protect me from some, if not all, of those things. That is no disrespect to God at all, I love & honor my Creator immensely, but it is a slight jab at how God has been presented to me in church over time. If you are living, life will happen. There is no protection from that. You live, you make decisions, you act, you react, you listen or your don’t and you deal with what comes next. When you refuse to deal, you will never learn the lesson, you will never heal and the lesson will keep repeating until you learn it.
I went through 5 long years of dealing with some very serious spiritual “stuff”. That’s all I can say about it right now but it stole A LOT from me. I guess I can say that I let it, but I feel more like things were just taken from me by force (spiritually speaking). That time in my life has ended and I’m on a new path, but sometimes I ask “did it have to happen like that….was there no other way”. It is one of those things that I will never know the reason behind, but I am glad that it brought me to the place where I am.
Whether it’s that negative experience or another one, one thing that I am realizing is if I don’t let it go and move on from trying to understand why, I let that situation hold power over me, my thoughts and my life. It was an experience and for whatever reason, I had to go through it and now it’s time to get past it and move forward. I know that I have to face whatever comes like a “beast”!! One of my new favorite lines is from a Big Sean song (he’s from Detroit, MI like me), the line is “I woke up in beast mode”! To me its like setting goals and smashing everyone of them like a champ! When challenges or fear come, don’t shrink and don’t get stuck in the “why me” phase. Of course the thought will come but instead of trying to figure out why it happened. Stand tall, get in beast mode and handle it! They key is to get through it…don’t setup shop in it.
I think when “stuff” comes and “stuff” happens, God, the universe and life is trying to tell us two things. One, it’s time for change and two, you got this!